(no subject)

[andwatchmeburn]

[pulls in air after what seems to be a lifetime, but it's barely that he notices. he's still rooted to that same spot.

why...]

[ooc: after this and this]

Comments

[dieinafire]

[I guess Yuki is dragging him here]

[andwatchmeburn]

[sees that. and ... wait— what. didn't you just...]

H... Hotsuma...?

[dieinafire]

...

[andwatchmeburn]

[you look like shit, but you're alive. feels a little blood returning to his face, but not much. all in one breath:]

... I'm sorry.

[dieinafire]

[forget that, he gets down, flinging his arms around him, crying]

[andwatchmeburn]

[w...what... holding him back, just as tight, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt]

[dieinafire]

I'm sorry. You told me to stay away, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't leave me, I won't be a monster.

[andwatchmeburn]

[completely horrified what]

What...? Told you t— no. No. When? I've never said that...!

[dieinafire]

I-I can't do it.

[andwatchmeburn]

Can't do what? Hotsuma, I swear I've never said that. What happened?

[dieinafire]

You--You walked away. You said I scared you. You wouldn't eat... b-because I...

[andwatchmeburn]

[... wheels turning. whatever it is I saw, it couldn't have been you. I refuse to believe that. it hurts, but I refuse. and ... you saw something similar. pulls away only to gingerly put his hands on the sides of Hotsuma's face, leaning his forehead against his]

That's not true! Whatever it is you saw, that wasn't me. You're not a monster. You'll never be one. Hotsuma, you're the most important person in my life.

[dieinafire]

[still crying]

[andwatchmeburn]

[oh god I did this. his voice is shaking a bit]

I'm not leaving. I'm staying with you for as long as you want. I promise.

[dieinafire]

I'm weak. I don't--[I'm nothing, I hurt people, it'll never change]

[andwatchmeburn]

Hotsuma, listen to me. You're not weak. You will never be weak. You're the strongest person I know. Whatever else you heard is not true.

I can't... [I need you, but I'm hurting you, but I'm not letting go. not this time] I can't do this without you.

[dieinafire]

[looking up just a bit]

[andwatchmeburn]

... I'm not letting go. You got me this far.

[dieinafire]

Don't let me go.

[andwatchmeburn]

I'm not. I won't. I ... I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you.

[dieinafire]

I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.

[andwatchmeburn]

You won't. You can control that.

[dieinafire]

[all the crying and rage bleeds out of him. He's completely exhausted]

Mmm.

[andwatchmeburn]

[closes his eyes, pressing their foreheads together]

As long as you need me, I'll be here. No matter what.

[dieinafire]

[weakly]

Always?